Week four of N415PJ down for maintenance begins.
Its formerly proud “user” is now locked in a small room, curled in a fetal position, sweating and shivering. The room contains a cot. Next to it is a bucket for piss, a bucket for shite, twelve tins of split pea soup and twelve tins of tomato soup.
It should only take a few more days before he is fully broken of his addiction to the notorious new designer drug making the rounds across America, “SR22.”
Parents: Let this be a lesson to you. Do not let your loved ones use SR22. At first, they’ll appear to be fully functional members of society. However be on the lookout for the signs of a problem:
hanging out with the “wrong crowd” (Walt, Kevin, Ed)
absence from work (“It’s so nice today, I’m going to go flying before the weather gets bad.” is not a valid excuse in California where the weather has been OUTSTANDING for the last four weeks)
SR22 users walk around with a dumb grin on their faces and repeat bizzare Eastern chants, such as: “Icantbelieveitssofast” over and over again.
There is hope! While SR22 is more addictive than heroin, the same detoxification methods can be used to save its victims from its horrible fate. As long as we can keep him away from N415PJ and off of SR22, we expect him to make a full recovery and return to society.
This “unfortunate fuel leak” was actually the first step in his recovery.
“Friends don’t let friends fly on SR22.”